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Baniya Best Jokes... 1

Baniya Best Jokes – 1

Baniya to his wife at his death time,
To his wife, Where are you?

Yes, I’m here.

All kids are all here?

Yes, papa

Baniya said: Than why fans in next room are still on?



Baniya fall from 20th floor.
While falling he saw his wife making meal in kitchen.
Baniya shouted “Don’t cook for me.”



Baniya called a News Paper office and asked: My uncle has died what’s for adv. charge per word?

News Paper representative: Rs.35 per word sir.

Baniya: Oh it’s too much. Ok write down “Uncle is expired”.

News Paper representative: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!

Baniya: Oh no! Thinking for a while and says … “Uncle is expired, Car for sale”.

Baniya Best Jokes... 2

Baniya Best Jokes – 2

One Baniya was also sinking with Titanic.
And was also smiling.

Other passenger asked: Why are you smiling?

Baniya: Thank god I haven’t purchased return ticket.


A baniya cam to that his wife have relationship with another guy.

He took his brand new pistol and went to that guy. His wife is in absolute dilemma that what to do.

After 1 hour baniya returned. And his wife asked with scare... What did you do to him?

Baniya: I told him you will be the first victim of my brand new pistol of Rs. 10,000.

Wife: then...

Baniya: He told me that he can give Rs. 15,000 for that pistol.



Wife: than what u did?

Baniya: I sold him.


Son: “I am not able to see at long distance, Please buy me spectacles.”
Baniya took him on terrace and asked what’s that?
Son: Its Sun.
Baniya: How far you want to see.


Marvadi Best Jokes... 1

Marvadi Best Jokes – 1


A Marvadi has donated blood to Sheikh to save his life.
Sheikh praised and presented a Mercedes to him.

Once again Sheikh wounded and Marvadi has again donated blood again.
This time Sheikh gives him Ball Pen.
Marvadi shouted to him “why not Mercedes this time?”
Sheikh: “Buddy, now blood of Marvadi is flowing in me too.”



A house of Marvadi's caught in fire. Immediately Marvadi gives a Missed Call to Fire Station.

Mathematics Best Jokes... 1

Mathematics Best Jokes– I

a + b = c,
This can also be written as...
(4a - 3a) + (4b - 3b) = (4c - 3c),

So, its...
4a - 3a + 4b - 3b = 4c - 3c,
After reorganizing...
4a + 4b - 4c = 3a + 3b - 3c,
Take the common constants out of the brackets...
4 * (a + b - c) = 3 * (a + b - c),
Remove the common (a + b - c) from both sides...
4 = 3!

1 X 0 = 0 and 1000 X 0 = 0
There for 1 = 1000


Moral: One can prove anything.

Archery Contest... Jokes

Once upon a time there was an archery contest.
First Archer wearing a mask comes down. He takes a deep breath and aim the target, which finds the center of the target. Then he took of mask and yell: I am…… Yashpal Rana!

Second Archer, also wearing a mask comes down. He takes a deep breath and aim the target, which also finds the center of the target and cut Yashpal’s bullet in two parts. Then he took of mask and yell: I am…… Abhinav Bindra!

Finally Gujarati Archer, also wearing a mask comes down. He also takes a deep breath and aim the target, but it goes all wrong! It shoots the Referee! Then he took of mask and, I am… Sorry!

Think Negative... Jokes

Think Negative

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that you look extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

Question: when do you congratulate someone for their mistake?

Answer: On their marriage.

Taxi Driver... Jokes

Taxi Driver

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver scared, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus.


For a second everything went quiet in the taxi, then the driver said, "Look man, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"


The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't mean that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a taxi driver - I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Business out of nothing... Jokes...

Business Out of Nothing


Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son.

Laloo: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"

Son: "I want to choose my own bride".

Laloo: "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."

Son: "Ah, in that case... Yes"

Next Laloo approaches Ambani
Laloo: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani: "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani: "Ah, in that case...Yes"
Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Laloo: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
World bank President:"But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo: "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
World bank President: "Ah, in that case...Yes."

Jagte Raho... Jokes...

Jagate Raho

A watchman has started his job…
Day 1
Jagte Raho… Jagte Raho… Jagte Raho…

Day 2
Jagte Raho… Jagte Raho…
Day 3
Jagte Raho…
-
-
-
-
-
-
Day 7

Jagte Raho… Mere Bharose Mat Raho…

College Professor Quotes... Jokes

College Professor Quotes

Don't talk in front of my back

Both of you three get out of the class.

Why are you so late? Say yes or no.

Take 5cm copper wire of any length.

I have two daughters. Both of them are girls.

All of you stand in a straight circle.

Be quiet. Principal passed away just now.

Why you looking at monkey outside when I am here



Funny Mathematical Equations... Jokes

Funny Mathematical Equations

Equation I…
Human = Eat + Sleep + Work + Enjoy
Donkey = Eat + Sleep

Therefore…
Human = Donkey + Work + Enjoy
Therefore…
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work
Therefore…
A Human doesn't Enjoy = Donkey that Works.

Equation II…
Human = Eat + Sleep + Earn Money
Donkey = Eat + Sleep
Therefore…
Man = Donkey + Earn Money
Therefore…
Man - Earn money = Donkey
Therefore…
Man who doesn't Earn Money = Donkey

Equation III…
Woman = Eat + Sleep + Spend
Donkey = Eat + Sleep
Therefore…
Woman = Donkey + Spend
Woman - Spend = Donkey
Therefore…
Woman who doesn't Spend = Donkey
Conclusion...
We can derive from Equation II and III...
Man who doesn't Earn Money = Woman who doesn't Spend
So we can say… Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey! And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

Finally…
Man + Woman = Donkey + Earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that Live happily together!

Ghost in Fort... Jokes

Ghost in Fort…

A young guide helping some tourist in a famous old fort of the ancient city.
Some tourist has asked to guide about myth that had listen from someone: “People say there is a ghost here. Is it right?”

Guide gives them consolation and said: “Nothing to worry like that. I haven't seen any Ghost as I am guiding people here since long time.”

Tourist: “Since how long you are guiding here?”

Guide: “Since last 550 years.”

Stopped from Tomorrow... Jokes

Stopped from Tomorrow…

One drunkard every night comes home drunk. His wife is also annoyed by this.

One day when drunkard goes home drunk his wife shows him a news paper and told him that news paper says drinking liquor cause liver damage and leads to human death.

Drunkard said Stopped from Tomorrow… Stopped from Tomorrow… Stopped from Tomorrow…

From next day onwards News Paper stopped.

Magical Herbs...Jokes

Magical Herbs…

On the road side footpath a little boy is selling herbs and his master is in meditation nearby him.
Boy is shouting to sell the herbs … “Eat this magical herb and you will be live for 5000 years, My master is live since last 3000 year as he has taken this magical herb.”

A businessmen passing nearby called that little boy towards him. He has passed 10Rs in hand of that little boy and asked him “”Is it true or just a blunder?”

Little boy “It’s a blunder, as I think it’s not possible to live this 5000 years.”
Businessman “Is really your master is 3000 years old?”


Little Boy “He is a liar; since last 200 years every morning he is saying that he is 3000 year old.”

Rajnikanth's Joke

Rajnikanth Jokes…


Once Rajni was playing Dhol at Ganesh Visarjan and suddenly an Aliens comes from space and told him play dhol slowly as his has son is reading for next day morning exam.

It’s impossible to count up-to infinity. Rajni has done this twice.

Indian Cricket team has appointed Rajniknath as a coach and guess what happened…
Indian Cricket Team has won FIFA Football world cup.

British’s had left India in 1947…
They are smart enough and know that Rajni is going to born soon.

Once NASA scientist have found something moving on Mars. It’s actually a Kite flying from earth by Rajnikanth.

Teacher: What’s half of 8?
Student: It’s 4.
Rajni: It depends on cutting style. Horizontal half is ZERO and vertical half is THREE.

When Rajnikanth was student... Teachers are who bunk the classes.

When Rajnikanth took admission in college he asked to choose three subjects.
He has selected Science, Commerce and Arts.

Why Compass points in North. Because Rajni lives in south and no one can point towards him.

Who can stops 100s of cars with one hand??
Its Traffic Police not Rajnikanth everytime.


Baniya Best Jokes – 3

Baniya Best Jokes – 3

In old time in small village a Baniya (Vaniya) has taken loan of Rs 5000 from a wealthy Patel friend of his village. Though they are friend Patel was not asking money too much often.

Once Baniya and Patel decide to travel for Yatra. They have kept some money with them.

During that they were travelling through a very thick Jungle. Suddenly they found themselves in front of some dangerous Dakus with guns in their hands. They are not in condition to self-protect. Dakus said give all money they have else they will kill them both.

Baniya suddenly got idea and get out Rs 5000 from his pocket and handover or Patel and said take these Rs 5000 which is due on me from you.


Baniya is always Baniya.

Woman with a Kid in City Bus


The Bus driver was angry with her and insult her "What ugly kid this is! Surely his father and mother are from Jungles."

That woman was also very angry but doesn't say anything and get to the back sit of city bus.

There a co-passenger gives him some consolation and told her "That bus driver is very rude you should shut him up with some words. Go there i will keep your monkey for that while."